Whatever Happens, Hold Onto Hope

In case you missed it on Twitter yesterday, I was feeling pretty gloomy. The complicatedness of certain life situations finally got to me, and I was totally overwhelmed. But, some incredibly good news at the end of the day ended up turning my frown completely upside down. So, I wanted to take this opportunity to share some things I’ve learned from all of this tough stuff craziness:

• Whatever happens, hold onto hope. Even when it feels like all is lost, never allow yourself to give up completely. Even a shred of hope could end up being the empowerment you needed.
• Understand that you’re going to have overwhelming moments. That’s called dealing, and as long as it doesn’t take over your entire life, it’s okay. Allow yourself some of those moments and truly feel your emotions instead of ignoring them.
• Crying is not a sign of weakness! In my opinion, it’s a sign of strength. It’s easy (although very unhealthy) to bottle up your feelings inside and not speak a word of them. The difficult thing is to let them out, to express them fully, to just let yourself cry.  Guys, this goes for you too, no matter what “they” say.
• There is no greater feeling than relief. Embrace it and be grateful.
• Having faith in yourself is so important. It gives you the strength you need to keep on going, even through the worst of it.
• Let others be there for you. Don’t think less of yourself for asking for help. Doing so doesn’t mean you’re an inadequate person. It’s okay if you can’t handle things alone. In fact, it’s normal. Accept the support that loved ones and friends offer you.
• Recognize that there are some things you have no control over, and some times when worrying won’t do anybody any good.

Most importantly, don’t take a single second for granted. 

I hope you realize that life is a precious gift. It is beautiful and fulfilling, frustrating and exciting, but it is also unpredictable.  So, make every moment count, and don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Stop making excuses. Say things like ‘thank you,’ ‘I love you,’ ‘I appreciate your hard work,’ and ‘You mean so much to me.’ Appreciate your life and all of the wonderful, beautiful, people and things that make it all worthwhile.

Does Anyone Know the Real You?

If there’s one thing that really bothers me in this world, it’s people who are fake.  They’re one way to your face, and a completely different way behind your back.  And, when it comes down to it, they don’t really know you at all.

I’ve been watching MTV’s new series “If You Really Knew Me,” and I have to admit that I think it’s brilliant. The people behind Challenge Day really know what they’re doing, and it’s a program that should be mandatory in every high school.  For those who haven’t seen the show, the basic premise is trust building activities that get teens to open up to one another and reveal who they really are on the inside. It sounds corny, but it’s not.  Once you can see beyond the outer shell, you will often find that seemingly polar opposites have a lot in common.

The thing is, it’s not just high schoolers who are afraid to show their true selves to the world. I know plenty of adults who do things they’d rather not, just to fit in. It’s sad to say, but we don’t all outgrow our tendency to be judgmental either.  I bet it won’t take you very long to think of the last time you slapped a label on someone, or made a generalization, without taking the opportunity to get to know them first.

One of the key exercises on Challenge Day is when the students sit in small groups and complete the sentence “If you really knew me…” The things they reveal are almost always unexpected, and often those who call themselves their friends had no idea. How many people know the real you? Are there things that have happened or are happening in your life that no one knows about? If you had to complete that sentence, what would you say?

It’s funny…before this blog, I would have a lot of ways to finish that sentence. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some things that aren’t publicly known, but there are quite a few aspects of my life, my true self, that I’ve written about here.  Doing so has made me more open with my IRL friends. I bottle my emotions less, and share more. It’s definitely a healthier way to go!  It’s very important to me to be genuine in the offline and online world, and I can honestly say that people definitely know the real me. What about you?

Put the Past Behind You & Be There

Previously this was a story that I share from a website .

Sometimes you have to put the past behind you and be there. Yesterday morning, my mom called to tell me something about a close family friend; his girlfriend had gotten some news about her family, and she was now in a situation eerily similar to the one I’ve been going through for the past year and a half.  Here’s the thing about this girl: I’ve known her since we were about ten years old. We went to summer camp together for many years…but we were never really friends. In fact, we were in totally different social groups, and I can probably count on one hand the number of times we’ve ever had a conversation. But, as soon as I hung up the phone with my mom, I looked up her e-mail address and sent her an e-mail. I told her that I know what she’s going through, and I know just how much it sucks. I know how overwhelmed she probably feels, and how difficult it is to feel like you’re burdening your friends with your problems when you try and share. So, I told her that if she needs to talk, not to hesitate to let me know.

The truth is, that I literally feel her pain.  As I’m writing this post and thinking about what she must be going through, my heart hurts for her. We were never friends, but when it comes down to it, that doesn’t matter. I didn’t think twice about reaching out to her.  You never know, the next time I need someone to be there for me, I might be pleasantly surprised to have a new friend by my side. The bottom line is that when someone’s going through something that you’ve been through, whether friend or foe, let bygones be bygones and just be there for them.