We All Need Somebody To Lean On

It’s very important to learn to be self-sufficient and independent, but the truth is that we can’t go it alone, and we shouldn’t. Just as vital as possessing drive and determination is building a strong support system of people who have our best interests at heart. We need supporters in every aspect of our life, personal and professional, to be there for us when we need words of encouragement, a vote of confidence, or confirmation that we are, in fact, not crazy.  Developing these relationships takes time and effort, but is well worthwhile.

In your personal life, realize that different kinds of friends provide different kinds of support. When you’re going through a tough time, sometimes laughter can be the best medicine. Know which friend tells the best jokes and always seems to lighten the mood, and which friend is the best companion for a night on the town. It’s also important to have someone you can spill your heart to when you’re happy or sad. Not everyone is a good listener in person, but some people write really thoughtful responses to novel-length e-mails, so use technology to your benefit. Also, make sure you share good news with your supporters, instead of just going to them when disaster strikes. If they are true friends, they’ll find as much joy in your happiness as they would in their own.

We don’t all become friends with the people we work with, and that’s okay. But, it’s important to find at least one co-worker who you can trust to give you their honest opinion.  Even if it’s just running an e-mail by them before you hit Send, practicing a presentation, or getting advice on how to deal with a particular client or co-worker, having someone to turn to in the office is incredibly helpful. Having these types of professional relationships can also prove beneficial when you move on to another job. You will have someone, in addition to your supervisor, who can speak knowledgeably about your work and vouch for your skills and experience.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help, even though it might be easier for some people than others. As the classic song says, we all need somebody to lean on. But, we can’t just expect people to be there for us if we haven’t given them a reason to be. Building a strong support system is a process much like building any structure. You have to start with a good foundation; in this case, things like trust and reliability are key. Certain parts serve different purposes, just like the various types of friends and acquaintances we have in our lives. Gratitude is like a roof; it tops it off and keeps it secure for the future.  The process of building is hard work, but hopefully the finished product will last for a long, long time.

Who do you lean on?